Quirky, sometimes, what my mother remembers...
...versus what she forgets. A little over a month ago during the afternoon when she was up I surfed our cable station line-up looking for movies to record on our DVR that she might enjoy. One of the channels I always check is the Hallmark Channel. Aside from my mother being a sucker for their movies, primarily because they are gentle, often funny and always contain homespun wisdom, often spouted by a member of "the older generation", the descriptions of their movies on the station guide are spot on and she can understand, immediately, what a movie might contain. As well, of course, the Hallmark Channel carries more than a few program reruns that my mother favors (surprisingly, Little House on the Prairie, which seems to be a staple on that channel, isn't one of those; I don't know why, but that show has always irritated her, even though she, along with at least two of her daughters, me included, loved the Ingalls Wilder series of books). My mother also favors their Tea and Sympathy mysteries. Occasionally she can handle a dark mystery but, most of the time, these irritate her. I've often considered that perhaps this is because dark mysteries are usually filmed through dark filters and little irritates my mother more than dark-screened shows.
    During the above mentioned surfing period, my mother happened to catch that Touched by an Angel has a regular spot on Hallmark Channel. She vaguely remembered the show. The year it first aired, 1994, in the middle of the season MFS tipped us off to the show and, from then on, when we could, we caught the first run episodes. Back then, my mother was spades more active than she is now, so we probably missed as many as we caught. My mother's memory retains those shows, though, enough to ask if we couldn't watch the episode through which we scrolled a few weeks ago, "how about now?" The spot, however, is at 0900 our time. My mother never sees that hour of the day anymore! I promised her I'd set the program up as a daily series recording and, since, once a day weekdays we've been watching episodes of Touched by an Angel, usually right after breakfast and chores.
    Mom remains fairly interactive when she watches television. During this show, though, she is unusually interactive. I'm not sure of all the reasons, but here are a few I've considered:

• She is a die hard fan of Della Reese's voice. When the theme begins, my mother relaxes even further in her rocker, she smiles with much pleasure, one of her hands keeps time to the song and she always says, afterward, "I love that woman's voice!" She did this when we watched the series in first run. She does this now. This is the only show through which I consistently do not fast forward through the opening credits.
• She absorbs the stories as though they are happening in her own life. Not that she compares story lines to actual life lines with which she's familiar, rather, her curiosity kicks in. It is not unusual for her to opine, out loud, "Now, that's an interesting problem," or "I'd like to know what they're (presumably the angels) are going to say about that". Thus, our viewing of the shows always takes more time than the actual episode and frequently stimulates conversation points which last throughout the day.
• She's a sucker for shows about the Abrahamic Bible, about its history, about various religions, even when they are serious, scholarly shows, etc. Despite its light religious touch, this show qualifies. She is quick to pick up on biblical references, especially since they are so clear in the show. I have a looong memory of one in particular that she found especially fascinating during the first run of the episode. The story involved a boy whose name is "Darnell". One of the angels, I can't remember which, pointed out to the lad that his name comes from the Bible and means "weed", thus dubbing him as someone with an unquenchable thirst for survival, even in the toughest of conditions. Every time I do some gardening, I remember this, remembering, as well, my mother turning to me many years ago during the program and saying, "That's interesting! Did you know that? I've never liked that name, but doesn't knowing that make you wish you're name was Darnell?!?" Actually, considering her life since, especially the way she's flourished through her medical challenges, I suspect her "secret" name is Darnell. We haven't yet run across this episode but I'm looking forward to it. I wonder if she'll have a similar reaction.
• As I was falling to sleep last night, ruminating over her enthusiasm for this series, it occurred to me that this might be her preferred type of "spiritual counseling". I'm still not quite sure if she even registers whether the span of her life is now under the dictates of a terminal illness, nor if she believes that she will be dying sooner than expected ("expected" meaning either 120 or never). I do know that, although her interest in religious stuff has never dwindled, because of the recent mention of one-on-one Hospice spiritual counseling, the availability of which I continue to remind her at least once a week and, despite her initial interest, she's refused, lately, as "not quite what I'm looking for" and has characterized it as "sounds boring", the subject comes up fairly frequently, so it's on her mind. Sometimes she says outright, "I get enough spirituality as it is. I don't think I need personal counseling," or other declarations to that effect. However, perhaps this program is fulfilling a present need for her in her most preferred ways: It's upbeat, tantalizing and unashamedly all inclusive.

    Anyway, for the last couple of weeks of weekday-ly episodes, my mother has, consistently, after each episode, said, "I'm ready for another one. How about you?" So, I've been keeping the shows on the DVR, rather than deleting them, replaying recently watched episodes on request. I've been doing this without art, really, but, early last week, she caught on. She can handle quick repeats of certain shows, like M*A*S*H, Murder, She Wrote, Seinfeld (I know, isn't it delightfully curious that she enjoys this show?), Andy Griffith and Sex and the City but Touched by an Angel doesn't fall into this category. I'm not sure why.
    "Haven't we seen that one before?" she asked.
    "Well, yes, but we haven't been recording these very long so if you want to watch more than one episode at a time, for awhile the repeats will be familiar ones."
    "They should do something about that," she said.
    I took this to mean that I should check to see if the series is available on DVD. The first four seasons are (I'm surprised the entire series isn't available).
    We received the first of the DVDs yesterday and had an angel fest last night. It was fun, in some cases hilarious. We started from the very first episode of the very first season, which neither of us had ever seen. At the end of the episode my mother piped up, "So, that's where she got that car!" She was also attuned to the fact that the more familiar Angel of Death, Andrew, wasn't the original Angel of Death. She seemed perturbed by Andrew's absence so I asked her if she preferred him.
    "I'm not sure," she said. "This one seems jauntier."
    She was so into the series that, at 0130 this morning, it was hard for her to decide to go to bed instead of watching yet another episode. She was clearly becoming lack-of-sleep drunk, and it had been a looooong day for me. I reminded her that we own the videos so we can watch it "anytime", there's no chance of her missing any episodes. That did the trick.
    Something interesting happened between the second and third episode. I noticed that her glass of tea had been sitting empty on her TV table for awhile and asked her if she'd like something else to drink.
    Her eyes sparkled and she said, in what I mistook as a joke, "I think I'd like a glass of champagne."
    I laughed. "You and me both! My goodness, you feel good tonight!"
    She looked startled. "Don't we have any champagne?" she asked.
    "Well, no. We haven't had any in the house for ages."
    "We'll have to do something about that," she said.
    Wow. I have only a vague memory of her taste for champagne, but I have vivid memories of her enjoyment of a glass of lightly carbonated rosé, now and then. There's no question but what I will incorporate champage and rosé into our evenings, now. I don't have to worry about moderating the amount because Mom savors her alcoholic indulgences and she's never been more than a social drinker. I had some concerns, though, about what to do about her evening medications, primarily her glipizide and her nightly lisinopril, so I called Hospice this morning and asked. The verdict: On the evenings I plan to serve her an alcoholic beverage (and, I'm planning, as well, to have occasional "wine and appetizer" dinner evenings, something she loves), forego the dessert. As well, on wine evenings, check her blood pressure before administering her lisinopril, which she takes just before bed. If the systolic is below 130, cut out the lisinopril.
    Evening angels and a bit of the bubbly. Sounds intoxicating to me!
    Later.
- posted by Gail Rae @ 12:35   email  this post