I finally got around to checking out...
...a New York Times blog called The New Old Age, written by NYT writer Jane Gross. I spent a half hour with it. If you're a caregiver to an Ancient One and you want confirmation of the kind of life you are now leading due to your caregiving activities, check out the voluminous comments attached to many of Jane's posts. I won't be including this blog in my links section, as my preference is for homespun online journals: The ones that don't have huge numbers of visitors but contain gritty, in the moment detail. But, if you're looking for confirmation and are new to this online caregiver support game, the above mentioned blog is a good place to start.
    It's funny, too, since I've been doing this awhile and have had contact with other caregivers, all kinds of contact including online journal reading, confirmation from other caregivers no longer does much of trick for me. That isn't to say that it isn't helpful nor that it feels anything but good to hear from others who share, or have shared, my situation, in parts or wholly. I think, though, as my life becomes more intensely involved in caregiving for my mother, the time for confirmation has evaporated and with the time, so has the value. As I was reading through Jane's most recent posts I began to understand that the most valuable caregiver-to-caregiver support is probably that which is offered from a "retired" caregiver to an in-the-thick-of-it caregiver. And, yet, I also understand how it is that once an elder caregiver has "graduated" from caregiving to an elderly relative, a graduation that only happens after the death of the relative, writing about the situation requires an interest in revisitation that the caregiver may prefer, justly, to refuse. Jane has done most of her writing about her caregiving to her mother since her mother's death. My salutations to all past elder caregivers who come to a point where they are able handle the revisitations that support for in-the-thick-of-it caregivers requires. I have been blessed with some of these people, some of whom are regular commenters on my journal and correspondents. Damn, I'm sorry I didn't get it sooner, people. Caregiving is no easy task. Neither is reaching out from one's past caregiving experience, enduring the memories, especially the ambivalent ones, and extending both hand and heart to the likes of me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
    Time to awaken the Ancient One. We've got a busy day ahead and I am in no way prepared for it, sleepwise or otherwise.
    Later.
- posted by Gail Rae @ 10:26   email  this post