Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Work
    Although we attempted to play Sorry in the hospital a couple of times, we were never successful at completing a full game, in deference to this test or that treatment or a pneumonial crisis, so, yesterday morning at the care center I suggested a game, again, and Mom was enthusiastic. It was challenging for her from the perspective of her fingers. Her hands aren't shaking anymore but they remain a bit unsure of themselves, although she retains her confidence in them, mostly. As I watched her manage the cards, the men, the counting, the strategies and the rules (which we have been inevitably reviewing repeatedly through every game we play in the last more than a few years) I gave her lots of room to do almost everything herself, including separating the wily cards that tend to stick to one another, teasing her that picking up two cards at once is "cheating" and, if she's going to cheat, she ought to do it in ways that I don't immediately detect. When it seemed necessary, which wasn't often because frustration simply never gained a foothold in her during the game, I'd coax her with, "Just take your time. I saw you do it yesterday (or "a few hours ago"), I know you can do it now." I say this to her often in regard to many actions that seem to be giving her trouble at any particular moment. Sometimes it becomes a prophecy, sometimes, if the encouragement is unsuccessful, we simply abandon the attempt but hope for the best the next time.
    I also thought, as we played, about how doing this is excellent therapy, totally foolproof because it's play. It's not only good for her hands, it's good for her mind, good for her socially and emotionally and good for her soul. I'd never thought of Sorry like that before, I don't think. Mostly, when we've played it, it's been our way to square off against one another safely and harmlessly. That aspect remains but this particular period of my mother's life is cutting a few more facets into our pursuit of the game. As my mother has often said, "We're a 'Sorry' pair, the two of us."
    Quickly, before I get ready to go play with my mother this morning (I think we'll do her hair today, maybe shave her, if she wants, she refused this yesterday; maybe, since our day is beginning earlier, we'll get in some early reading, too...oh, by the way, although I've been reading to her every day, usually in the common areas, none of the residents except that prickly, shrunken man with the piercing eyes has expressed any interest in listening along): I want to bring everyone's attention to Novabella's comment appended to the "Respite my ass!" post and express my gratitude for this heads up. Hadn't actually thought of it that way until she brought this to my attention. As I considered what she said I realized that, at least in my case, this period is allowing me to lead only one and a half lives instead of two. Even that is making a felicitous difference.
    Off to play.
    Later.
- posted by Gail Rae @ 08:33   email  this post