No blood draw today...
...and I think that's okay. A windy, cool low is going through and Mom, as usual, is reacting to it. The last few days have been calm and warm, for this season, anyway, and Mom has responded well, considering everything. I was thinking, last night, since she was up so long, lively and aware, that maybe we'd get through the next few days without her noticing the low, but I was wrong. At any rate, the hematologist isn't concerned about the weekly blood draws and I doubt that her PCP will have a problem with me suspending this week's draw, since I have yet to update him on everything that's been going on in regard to the epo shots. I can't say why...I think about my usual meticulous and timely doctor reporting, scold myself for putting it off the last few weeks, then put it off yet another day. I'm sure he knows that if something was wrong he'd be the first to hear about it.
    My mood has been a bit iffy, as well. Stuff outside the usual caregiving stuff has been affecting me and I'm experiencing a very dark outlook on life, lately; so dark that I'm thrilled when my mother is up because she always has a salutary affect on my mood. For the last three weeks or so I've been needing her optimistic attitude. Even when she's "under the weather", which she clearly is today, she's silly and sunny and stalwart and these native characteristics of hers are helping to push back my internal drapes for some hours a day, at least. Who says caregiving is a one way street!?!?
    Tomorrow is another epo shot day. I can finally say that I think they are working well for her. For the longest time, from the beginning of January on, before she started seeing the hematologist, I was losing faith in my ability to read her health from her fingernails and lips. I noticed today, though, that both are filling in, nicely, with a striking pink. I wonder, occasionally, how we'll maintain this once the epo series comes to an end, but I'm not anxious about it. I have to say, though, that I'm still not inclined toward my usual assertiveness in seeking out the answers to my questions. Hmmm...I suppose that the "other stuff" is also affecting the way I'm approaching her medical experiences, right now. Oh well. Such is life, yes?
    Later.
- posted by Gail Rae @ 19:30   email  this post